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Players can't gain life.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player loses 1 life.
Whenever this enchantment becomes the target of a spell, that spell's controller loses 5 life.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, that player loses 5 life unless they discard a card.
When this enchantment enters, you become the monarch.
Whenever a creature attacks you or a planeswalker you control, that creature's controller loses 1 life.
When this enchantment enters, draw three cards.
Whenever you cast a spell, you lose 1 life.
When this enchantment becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.
As this enchantment enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.
As this enchantment enters, choose a creature type.
All creatures of the chosen type get -1/-1.
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter it unless that player pays .
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.
Flying
Whenever a player casts a nonblack spell, that player loses 1 life.
Whenever a land an opponent controls enters, that player loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
Whenever a land an opponent controls enters, that player loses 1 life. Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Constellation — Whenever this creature or another enchantment you control enters, each opponent loses 1 life.
When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.
Whenever an opponent discards a card, that player loses 2 life.
Whenever you lose life, for each 1 life you lost, sacrifice a permanent other than this enchantment unless you discard a card. (Damage dealt to you causes you to lose life.)
: Draw a card.
Whenever a player casts a spell, that player discards a card.
As this creature enters, choose a player.
Sewer Nemesis's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in the chosen player's graveyard.
Whenever the chosen player casts a spell, that player mills a card.
Whenever a player casts a green or white spell, that player discards a card.
As this enchantment enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice this enchantment. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)